How often do you look inward to ask yourself what you want? For your birthday, for Christmas, or as a token for a productive work day? I think a LOT of people don’t really know what they want. And they tend to depend on others to give them the perfect date, the perfect gift, or the exact thing that they want.
In my with-all-honesty-Em opinion, it’s freeing to know what we want… And identifying the things that give us genuine excitement and happiness. Now, this requires inner work and I have some leverage as you know I’m a regular in the self-help and meditation realm. Point is… When you know what you really want… and the things that make you happy, you become easily pleased.
The highlight of this short but sweet episode:
- I was a people pleaser for a very long time
- Why you need to look inward for the answers on how to be easily pleased
- Avoid feeling bitter and resentful when you don’t get the things you want
- The realization I got from this year’s Mother’s Day
- How to lean in and get curious about what we really want
- Setting the intention to be easily pleased
We love surprises and getting what we want… especially from people who we EXPECT to know what we want. But for a lot of people, when they don’t get what they want, they turn bitter and resentful. This, to be honest, has more to do with ourselves than others. When we put in the effort to understand others and give them what we know they want even when they didn’t tell us… it puts us in a place where we expect others to do the same thing for us.
What this brings is a LOT of disappointment. And it’s NOT because they didn’t know us enough to understand the things that make us happy… But because we don’t understand ourselves enough to know ALL the things that make us happy.
I’ve been a people pleaser most of my life and I’m only recently seeing that it’s not healthy to expect this from other people. It required a lot of inner work for me to fully understand what my needs and desires were… and take radical personal responsibility for whether or not those were happening.
This is actually the first (and probably most difficult) step to shifting from people pleaser to easily pleased.
One very recent example was Mother’s Day dinner. We’ve been told that the family should be responsible for making moms happy during Mother’s Day. I could’ve allowed this narrative to play and have expectations and attachment to what my family had planned for me… OR I could lean in and identify how I want my Mother’s Day to look like and voice those because I’m clear on what my desire is for that evening.
The second one requires you to be in touch with yourself… noticing your emotions and desires. Because when you’re externally focused… it puts the responsibility of making you happy to other people. And when things don’t go the way you pictured it, you get upset and feel misunderstood… When in reality, the first person who misunderstood you was you.
This shift from expectation to introspection is the answer to being easily pleased. You might know a few things that make you happy, but it will help you and those around you and the people who really care for you when you can clearly identify all the things that give you happiness.
And when you’re easily pleased… it becomes SUPER easy to look at other things from a spot filled with gratitude.
XO,
Em
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